What If Disconnection Is the Real Crisis?
What if the problem isn’t out there, but in how disconnected we’ve become from ourselves?
“Life is so short, and we often live it without true connection—to ourselves, to others, or to the world,” my client reflects.
Her words carry the weight of something universal. In our work together, she reconnected with her body—its sensations, wisdom, and longings—and began to live with clarity about what is important to her in this moment of her life and with intention.
"It is like I got a set of new eyes, seeing what I haven't seen before. And it changes everything." And as she realizes, the new journey has just begun. This is not an instant fix; it is a lifelong practice of learning and living in wholeness.
But this story isn’t unique. How many of us are rushing through life, barely pausing to notice what truly matters? Disconnection runs deeper. It’s systemic.
The Crisis of Disconnection
Disconnection is everywhere. It’s in the way we move through our days, rushing from one task to the next without pausing to notice how we feel or what we need, driven by our embodied tendencies and habits, even when they do not serve us. It’s in the erosion of trust and community, where relationships feel transactional instead of meaningful. It’s in the way we treat the Earth as a resource to extract from rather than a home to care for.
This disconnection isn’t accidental—it’s the legacy of centuries of rationalism and reductionism. Julio Olalla, in The Crisis of the Western Mind (download the essay), describes how this worldview has severed us from nature, community, and even ourselves. We tend to treat the world—and our lives—as systems to control and optimize, ignoring the deeper connections that make life meaningful.
Personal, Relational, and Systemic Disconnection
Our disconnection shows up in three interconnected ways:
Disconnection from Self: We optimize every moment, tracking steps or multitasking to squeeze in more. And yet we find ourselves feeling more distant from meaning, fullfilment and connection. We ignore the signals our bodies send us and numb out emotions we don’t want to feel. Without tools to rewire ourselves and reconnect to Self, we repeat the same behaviours and actions, often failing to set boundaries that honour our happiness and well-being.
Disconnection from Others: Relationships are often shallow or performative, lacking the depth and vulnerability needed to build trust. We spend our days in digital spaces—on social media, mails, or Netflix—or in the overload of information in the media about what is wrong in the world, avoiding genuine connection and acting upon what is in our control. It feels easier to update a status with carefully curated moments than to pick up the phone and have a meaningful conversation. At work, we often feel the need to bring a "polished" version of ourselves, not realizing that being authentic is the greatest gift we can offer to others and key for impact, leadership and work success and fullfilment.
Disconnection from the Planet: Our collective actions often prioritize short-term gains over long-term care. For example, deforestation for agriculture not only destroys habitats but also disrupts ecosystems, amplifying climate crises that affect every one of us. Another horrible example is plastic pollution: millions of tons of plastic end up in our oceans every year, forming massive garbage patches and choking marine life. This pollution doesn’t just harm marine ecosystems—it infiltrates the food we eat and the water we drink, showing how deeply interconnected we are with the planet.
Our disconnection from ourselves inevitably affects how we relate to others and the systems we inhabit. It ripples outward, leaving us with fragmented relationships and unsustainable systems.
What is the ultimate Personal Cost of Disconnection?
Disconnection doesn’t just affect how we live—it determines if we truly live at all. The cost lies in being absent from the present moment, caught up in replaying past events or racing ahead to future tasks. In this constant cycle, we lose the ability to simply be—to experience gratitude and awe for the beauty of life, regardless of the conditions around us.
Time is the ultimate currency, and disconnection robs us of it. We only ever have this moment, we never have more than that! The present is where we experience life, where we feel love and connection, and where we have the power to shape the future. When we are disconnected from the now, we trade that richness for a fleeting sense of productivity or control.
Bronnie Ware’s The Top Five Regrets of the Dying talks about regrets people at the end of their lives. The most common regrets included:
I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.
I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.
I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
I wish I had let myself be happier.
How often do we prioritize “to do’s” over connection, only to regret the missed moments? What opportunities for joy and presence have we let slip away?
A Path Back to Connection
Reconnection begins with ourselves. Through building somatic awareness, we learn to pause and listen—to our soma and connect with ourselves, others, and the planet.
The term soma originates from the Greek word for “the living body.” In somatics, the soma refers not just to the physical body but to the integration of the cognitive, physical, emotional, sensational, and spiritual aspects of who we are. Listening to our soma allows us to align with our inner wisdom, bridging intuition, sensations, and embodied awareness to inform how we live and lead. For example, when your chest tightens in stress or your gut feels uneasy before a decision, your soma is communicating something important.
When was the last time you trusted your gut instinct? That inner knowing is your body’s way of communicating what your mind might not yet recognize.
Building somatic awareness can be supported through diverse practices and approaches, including mindfulness, meditation, somatic bodywork, somatic practices and processes, breathwork, and others. Leveraging dance, art, or music can also be a fun and effective way to foster somatic awareness and integration. Many of those approaches are used in somatic coaching process for the purpose of exploring, learning and then embodying new skills. This allows us to act differently under the same old pressures and shape our life experience in support what truly matters to us.
Somatic awareness is where any real sustainable change starts. And so, reconnection can begin only within ourselves.
Call to Reflection
Take a moment to reflect:
Where do you notice disconnection in your life? With yourself, others, purpose, or happiness?
What is the cost of staying disconnected?
What would change if you reconnected just a little more—with yourself, others, and the world?
Are you bold enough to reconnect?
In the next article, we’ll explore how embodied leadership—living and leading in alignment with your values—creates the foundation for deeper connection and meaningful impact.
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References:
Julio Olalla is one of the originators of Ontological Coaching, author of FROM KNOWLEDGE TO WISDOM: Essays on the Crisis in Contemporary Learning, and founder of Newfield Network, an international organization dedicated to supporting coaches, leaders, and organizations to navigate the complex challenges of our times. https://newfieldnetwork.com/keynote-speaking/julio-olalla/
Bronnie Ware spent several years caring for dying people in their homes. Her full-length memoir, The Top Five Regrets of the Dying, shares further wisdom from dying people and how Bronnie's own life was transformed through this learning. It is available in 32 languages. http://bronnieware.com/regrets-of-the-dying