Week 4 of 1000 No’s Challenge: The Boldest No—Saying No to Everything
The world doesn’t stop when we pause. But sometimes, we need to stop to be with what truly matters.
Sometimes, life demands nothing less than a full stop.
Not a pause. Not a slow-down. A full, unapologetic stop.
This was one of those weeks.
A deep, deep dip. The kind that makes everything else—work, deadlines, expectations—feel completely irrelevant.
The only right thing to do? Say a bold NO to everything and take care of myself.
We don’t talk about this enough.
Personal life impacts work life. Work life impacts personal life.
There’s no neat separation. We don’t wake up, put on a “work hat,” and suddenly become someone untouched by what’s happening in our personal world.
This is where inner compassion comes in.
It’s okay to put big visions, goals and ambitions on hold.
It’s okay to say, I’m not in a good place right now, and I need to take care of myself first.
It’s okay to sit in the mess, to let emotions surface, to watch old conditioned behaviours take over - without rushing to fix.
What really matters in these moments?
The people who don’t need explanations.
The ones who don’t try to fix you.
The ones who simply sit beside you in silence when everything feels overwhelming.
I am grateful to have people like this in my life.
“I don’t feel very much like Pooh today,” said Pooh.
“There, there,” said Piglet. “I’ll bring you tea and honey until you do.”
(A.A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh, 1926)
Because when someone truly sees you, without rushing forward, something shifts.
Your experience becomes real.
Valid.
Dignified.
From that place, clarity emerges.
Sitting in the Mess-With a Client, With Myself
I was reminded of a time when a client of mine faced his own too much.
Loss. A house falling apart. Work chaos. A major move.
Life doesn’t spread challenges out neatly. When it rains, it pours.
He didn’t need a plan. He needed space.
To grieve. To honor. To sit in the mess.
We cried. We laughed. We sat in silence. And in that silence, something shifted.
A letting go. An honoring of what was. A quiet, unwavering decision to move forward.
Fast forward—he rebuilt.
Peace of mind returned. The house issue resolved. The money started flowing. The move plans changed.
He’s stepping into his next chapter— stronger, bolder, ready.
Coaching isn’t about fixing. It’s about creating space for what is—so clarity, courage, and transformation can emerge.
A Distant Memory Came to Presence
I remembered another time I said a bold NO to everything.
Months ago, a dear friend of mine passed away after a long battle with illness.
That week, my calendar was packed—high-stakes meetings, critical decisions, deadlines I was responsible for.
Every logical argument told me I couldn’t step away.
But I did.
I walked into my team’s space and simply said:
“I won’t be here. You will need to handle this.”
Then—silence. A moment of uncertainty.
And you know what? They did.
They stepped up. They made things happen - better than if I had been involved.
That’s real empowerment.
Not the kind where we hold everything up ourselves, but the kind where we trust people to rise.
So I booked a ticket. I flew to another country.
And I stood in the searing sun, listening to the wind playing in the leaves of nearby trees as we honoured his life.
I will never forget what his spouse shared after the ceremony.
“In the end, I got to witness real love. This amazing man, father, and leader, with no more physical strength, but still that positive smile on his lips. Our children carrying him—up and down the stairs, from room to room. No demands. Just pure giving. I had never before seen and experienced love so unconditional. It was beautiful.”
Grief and relief intertwined her voice.
But what touched me deeply was the gratitude. The amazement.
Even in loss, there is love.
Even in the rawest grief, there is beauty.
If we pause and honour what is, something new emerges.
One Insight. One Question.
The world doesn’t stop when we pause.
But sometimes, we need to stop to be with what truly matters.
So, I leave you with just one question:
Who in your life will sit with you in silence when everything feels like too much?
Reach out to them right now and tell them how important they are to you.